I love my kids.
They drive me nuts sometimes and make me feel less like a mother and more like a crazy shrieking banshie, but they are totally worth it.
Today while the younger three took a nap my oldest stayed up to clean with me. Well, cleaning was the original plan which quickly morphed into laying on the couch snuggling and talking.
No regrets. Housework can wait. Quiet moments with just the two of us are rare and I was not about to pass it up.
We got on the topic of what he thinks it means to be a man.
“I think a man is supposed to be brave and strong. And if anyone ever tries to hurt somebody he cares about he should take his knife or ninja sword and protect them. But if that doesn’t work or he just isn’t that good with his sword and needs some more practice he should call 9-1-1 and get help.”
I smiled. He is so damn cute.
“What do you think it means to be a woman?”
“Loving people and making them nice dinners and pancakes for breakfast. And snuggling and kissing them too. Because mom, you’re the nicest person I know and I just love you so much. You’re a princess. Well, actually you are the queen of hearts because you love everyone and hearts mean love.”
Okay, so my kid has never seen Alice in Wonderland so he made no reference to it there. But yeah, he melts my heart.
At six years old he has a comprehension of people’s feelings and not wanting to make them upset but he still has that innocent honesty when it comes to what he thinks. I love that.
Sometimes I get frustrated, which I think I can safely say all parents do. I wonder if my kids see my heart and how much I love them when I have to be strict and hold them accountable for misbehavior. So that’s why I feel like it’s important to talk to kids. To ask them questions and just listen to their heart and how they feel and what they think. I might think my kid interprets something said or a certain behavior one way, but if I never ask him to explain it to me I really can’t be sure.
I am fascinated with my kids and how they see the world. Talking to them one on one helps me see who they are and where they are. It also helps me see the areas we need to talk about more often. For example, the whole women cooking thing is super cute and I know he meant it in a complimentary way, but I certainly want him to know and appreciate the vital role women have in other areas and to recognize their value in all aspects of society. But that’s a conversation for a different day. I’m not going to knit pick because I know that what he said came from the best intentions. I can’t wait for the rest of my kids to get old enough for me to have meaningful conversations with them as well. All my boys are amazing, but there is a certain bond that happens when they open up to me their thoughts and feelings in a very real and trusting way. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
What about you? Do you think it’s important to talk to your kids and really listen to their answers? How do you make sure your kids feel comfortable talking to you about whatever is on their mind?
College Kid With Kids 